Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
