pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
