his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
