He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize