I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
