There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
