The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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