Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
