I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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