You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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