and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
