roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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