She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
