this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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