i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
