She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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