I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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