It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
