I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
