but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
