What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
soo... how was my night?
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