So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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