i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
