you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
