i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
