Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am in a vortex of obligation.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
