know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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