I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
