Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
