I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
