I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
