It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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