Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
