Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
