I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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