chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize