I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
