I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize