I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
