Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
