I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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