she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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