It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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