Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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