i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will pee on everything he values.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
