It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
