I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
