there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
