Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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