There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm passing your future prison.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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