Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
