So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
