Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize