i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
