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Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
