I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
