just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
