8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
