She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize