As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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